Wind with cold temps is anathema to golfers

Jack Finger

The day the golf gods were caught napping

For the past eight or ten years this column, which features the doings of the Good Old Boys Golf League, has been waging a personal jihad against the gods of golf. Those mean-spirited, dastardly denizens of the nether world who inflict so much misery on those of us, with uh, limited skills. (read duffers)
Yes, Virginia, the gods of golf are real, as real as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. They exist in the hearts and minds of every golfer trying to cope with double-bogeys, three-putt greens, slicing, hooking, chunking, skulling and, we hate to even mention it, shanking. It’s not your fault, Bubba, that you played so badly, blame it on you -know-who. It’s okay to tell that to your wife when you get home and she asks you how you did.

Vengeful retribution for our printed assaults has been diabolic and no less withering. It has been meted out in the form of endless and humiliating rounds of 100 or more strokes each. Last Monday, however, something strange happened. Either the gods were caught napping, on vacation or out to lunch, because your semi-humble playing journalist sneaked in with a surprising score of, well, let’s let the tournament director, Charlie Prokop tell you about it in a guest column that he graciously turned out.

By Charles Prokop
The golfing world is small and keeps a close watch on its favorite sons. When a legend resurrects his game and gives hints of returning former glory, golfers from far and wide want to see him first hand. Sometimes just a touch from his well-worn glove or a puff of wind from his powerful swing will miraculously rehabilitate even those mired in the deepest slump.

Jack Finger, your regular correspondent for this column, is a modest soul. Not given to publicly display his innate talent, he prefers to chronicle the successes of others. So when he captured the crown in last weeks GOB tournament, he quickly went into hiding, leaving those of us with lesser skill to recount his performance. If he can’t touch that glove or feel that blessed breeze, at least we can sing his praises.

We caught Jack as he tried to board a Greyhound and slip unnoticed out of town. Although he claimed his score of 93 and the five points he earned were aberrations, you could hear the joy in his voice as he savored the tale of his three straight pars to end the round. “It’s been years since I felt that rush,” he said, “ Fairways and green, that’s the real golf.” I begged for his secret but he just winked as he got on the bus. “When you’re ready, grasshopper,” he said, “ when you’re ready.” As the bus pulled away he tossed a wadded-up scorecard out the window. I unfolded it to read: “Hit it closer and you’ll make more putts. Getting up and down beats being down and out.” Words to live by. Now back to Jack.

A negotiated fee will be out in the mail to Charlie for that piece - which you can look for next year, entered in Pulitzer competition for best fiction. But for now, here are the other results from last week’s tournament.

A surprisingly large field of 33 braved still another cold and windy day. Only 11 players managed to beat their handicap figures. Topping that list was Gene Eubank of Bandera who picked up four points from a nice 88. Gene played steady golf with 44 on each side. Woody Clark came next with three from his 92. Proximity prizes were won by Dr HC Day of Boerne on No 7 and Richard Leeder, also of Boerne, on No 12. Bill Martinot, a winter Texan from Canada and Ron Mercier of Medina tied for medallist honors with 86’s. Points were worth $7 each.