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2016-09-15

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringy

By Sicilian Buttercup
BCC Stringy

Monday, Sept. 5:
• What better way to celebrate the fruits of your labor than by over-imbibing the “fruits of the vine” – and, even better – if ya do it in public.
• A Creek from the Pipe District found himself tripped up by two traffic and one failure-to-appear warrants.
Tuesday, Sept. 6:
• A Medina Miscreant purportedly got behind a wheel without a license.
Wednesday, Sept. 7:
• A Bandera Boyo was picked up for some kind of misdemeanor judgment or some such. I don’t know.
• A Lassie from Lakehills seems to have failed to adhere to the wise ministrations of a previous court – or two or three courts. Again, I don’t know.
• So, not only did this no doubt Boozer from Bandera fail to appear in court earlier, but he also was apparently pie-eyed in public. IMO, perhaps it’s a good thing he didn’t go to court if that’s his customary condition.
• Another Boob from Bandera was caught driving without a license.
• A Sot from SA was picked up for boozin’ behind a wheel for a first time.
Thursday, Sept. 8:
• A Bandera Bad Boy found himself stopped and detained for speeding and failing to appear.
• An Elbow-Bender from Bandera got nicked for a first DWI.
Friday, Sept. 9:
• A Lakehills Lunkhead made it a trifecta after being pinched for having a warrant that might warrant the revocation of his probation, assaulting someone by contact and making spurious 9-1-1 calls.
• A Cowboy Capital Criminal has been charged with felony theft of more than $20,000, but less than $100,000. You could buy this whole town for $100 grand, doncha think?
• A River City Weekwacker was busted.
• A fine upstanding Local Yokel has been charged with two failure to appears, a traffic warrant and his very first – we’re sure – DWI.
Saturday, Sept. 10:
• A Buffoon from Boerne got pie-eyed in public here because he doesn’t dare do it there.
• What would a Sattidy nite in the Free State of Bantucky be like if another drunk driver hadn’t been taken off the road, if just for a bit?
• Someone obviously couldn’t hold his likker in public.
• Apparently an argument ended after someone assaulting someone else with bodily injury.
• And, for good measure, another local got slapped with a felony warrant that may – but probably won’t – revoke his probation. Well, at least this gink is still in the can for his trouble.
Sunday, Sept. 11:
• On this infamous date in our nation’s history, a trio of yahoos from around here – a pair from Bandera and one from Lakehills, to be exact – accumulated among them, eight citations or whatever they’re called. We had two assaults with bodily injury, two PIs, two instances of resisting arrest – albeit none too successfully – interfering with a public servant and a warrant from an outside agency. Another successful Sabbath in the Hill Country. At least we don’t live in Chicago!!!
• After the above tally, public intoxication of a Souse from San Antonio seems somewhat anticlimactic.