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2016-08-11

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercut BCC Stringy

Wednesday, July 27:
• A Perp from Pearsall apparently tried to boost something worth more than $500, but less than $1,500, but failed.
Thursday, July 28:
• A Bandera Bonehead remains on the loose even after being dogged by a failure-to-appear warrant, as well as by two others that indicated he might not have complied – read, didn’t – with the kind suggestions of previous courts.
• A felony warrant from an outside agency put the kibosh on the good times of a Lakehills Lawbreaker and he remains in the quod for his trouble.
Friday, July 29:
• A weedwacker from Medina got busted.
Saturday, July 30:
• A Sycophant from Schertz remains confined to the county can for driving without a license.
• A Bandera Bandito was nicked for felony possession of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance.
• An 18-year-old Boozer from Bandera was picked up for his first – but probably not his last – DWI.
Sunday, July 31:
• A Sinner from San Antone remains in the slammer after being pinched driving without a license.
• A court ordered that a Boerne Bad Girl be jailed on a felony charge and so she was and so she remains.
Monday, August 1:
• A Cretin from the Creek District assaulted someone by contact.
• A Bandera Boozer was publically pickled.
Tuesday, August 2:
• A Kerr-Vert purportedly possessed a dangerous drug.
• Despite being detained for just two misdemeanors, a Lakehills Laddie remains confined to the county can due to a couple of warrants – one from an outside agency and the second for not heeding the suggestions of a previous court.
• A few felonies – failing to appear and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon – and a warrant from an outside agency misdemeanor kept a Bad Boy from Bandera in the clink.
• A couple of absent-minded local yokels drove without a license.
• Some weedwackers from Pipe Creek and Lakehills were busted.
• A not-so-sharp Banderan was caught with a switchblade.
• A Pipe Creep remains in the quod for being dogged by a some felony failure-to-appear warrants.
Wednesday, August 3:
• It appears a trio of ruffians from Pipe Creek might have engaged in a bout of fisticuffs. Although three were charged with assault with bodily injury, only one remains in the Big House.
• Another arrest for carrying blunt occurred.
• A gink, who at 46 is old enough to know better, might have made a false report to a law enforcement officer, while a Denizen of the Lake District apparently fabricated or fictionalized a vehicle registration.
Friday, August 5:
• A San Antonio Sluggo remains in stir for a misdemeanor warrant that may eventually revoke his probation.
Saturday, August 6:
• A Bonehead from Bandera seems to have embraced the myth of the drug culture with a vengeance as he was found with pot, a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance and some other controlled substance of unknown etiology.
• A Savage from San Angelo assaulted someone with the requisite bodily injury.
• Now, this is what I call a rap sheet. A Bodacious Bandera Babe has been charged with a quintet of felonies for possession of a PG 1 controlled substance, five felony failures to appear – in addition to two misdemeanor failures to appear – and for pot possession (x’s 2), as well as an “error.” It would seem that this woman’s “error” might have been getting out of bed that morning. But that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Sunday, August 7:
• A 60-year-old Sour-Tempered San Antonian slugged someone in the Free State of Bantucky.
• Say it ain’t so. A local yokel was unable to hold his likker in public? Well, I swan …
• A Frequent Flyer from the Lake District assaulted someone with bodily injury.
• So, it appears a Criminal from the Cowboy Capital was nicked for accumulating a goodly number of misdemeanors – three failures to appear, another for driving without a license and a last way for not heeding the kind ministrations of a previous court.
• Well, this can’t be right. Someone’s attempting to say that a Boob from Bandera failed to appear and another assaulted one of his fellow hombres by contact. Be that as it may, both remain guest of the Do Drop Inn for their shortcomings.