Headline News
Go Back
2016-07-14

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicillian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, July 4:
• A Sot from San Antonio celebrated our nation’s birthday by posing as a Yankee Doodle Tippler – in public, no less.
• A second San Antonian was caught driving without a license, but with a dangerous drug and while being dogged by a failure-to-appear warrant. My, my, he’s been a busy little lawbreaker.
• A Helotes Hick apparently drove while intoxicated for a first time, but without benefit of a license or liability insurance.
• Okay, so this 17-year-old Pipe Creek Chick is starting her life off right after being detained for carrying a Penalty Group 1 felony controlled substance as well as a pipe with which to smoke it. Nice going, Sweetie.
• Whereas the above chick’s 21-year-old boyfriend – or whatever – was nicked for an ostensible first drunk driving.
Tuesday, July 5:
• A Weedwacker from the Lake District was found to be carrying blunt and something with which to smoke it, but his biggest mistake turned out to be indulging in a little felony tampering with evidence.
• A Slaggard – is that a word? – from San Antonio failed to adhere to the oh-so-kind warnings from two previous courts and has since been just one step ahead of two warrants.
• Well, the next trio of San Antonio A-Holes was busted for weedwacking – along with carrying the requisite inhalant paraphernalia. However, only one Master Criminal remains confined to the quod for his trouble.
Thursday, July 7:
• A quartet of obvious miscreants was arrested for criminal mischief – three of whom you’ll be reading more about. So, stay tuned. This is gonna be a doozy.
• Another Cowboy Capital weedwacker was apprehended. The streets remain safe.
Friday, July 8:
• A 19-year-old Pipe Creep may eventually have his probation revoked.
Saturday, July 9:
• A Hellion from Houston remains in the slammer due to being off-bond.
Saturday, July 10:
• A Miscreant from Montgomery was pinched for being three sheets to the wind while driving for a first time.