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2016-07-07

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicillian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, June 27:
• A couple of elbow-benders from Pipe Creek and Devine were picked up for being pickled in public.
• A pair of Bandera Boozers has been charged with their first DWIs.
Tuesday, June 28:
• Another day, another sot nicked for not being able to hold his likker in public.
• A Cretin from Canyon Lake remains confined to the County Can for felony possession of that pesky Penalty Group 1 controlled substance.
• Regarding a couple of suspects from San Antone, one apparently failed to identify herself and the other was pinched for being pie-eyed in public.
Thursday, June 30:
• A 55-year-old local yokel, who was certainly old enough to know better, spent a couple of nights in the slammer for felony unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, as well as for felony criminal mischief.
• A Kerr-Vert also remains in the can for felony evading arrest with a vehicle, along with misdemeanor assault with bodily injury and obstructing a roadway – and we all remember what that charge used to be a euphemism for.
• A Beast from Brackettville remains under Lock & Key, charged with a felony warrant that may revoke his probation,
• A 17-yer-old Bandera Boyo possessed a dangerous drug for which he remains incarcerated even tho’ he was charged with but a misdemeanor.
Friday, July 1:
• A Breaking Bad type from Bandera has been charged with felony manufacture and delivery of more than 200, but less than 400 grams of a PG1 controlled substance. Better call Saul!
• This doesn’t bode well. A Bodacious Bandera Boozer was apparently caught drinking and driving for a felony third time.
Saturday, July 2:
• A Malevolent Lakehills Lassie or Laddie – whatever!? –was arrested for a felony assault with bodily injury.
• A Sot from San Antone was caught acting drunkenly in public.
• A misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency tripped up a Lawbreaker from Lakehills, who remains in the Doo Drop Inn for his trouble.
• Well, here’s one for the books. It appears a married couple was stopped by troopers for myriad infractions. Wifey, who seems to live in Leakey, has been charged with felony DWI for driving with a child in the vehicle, two counts of speeding and for a warrant from an outside agency. Meanwhile, hubby, who resides in River City, unlawfully possessed a firearm, which was ostensibly stolen, as well as a switchblade, which is verboten. He also was carrying more than 20 but less than 40 ounces of weed. Yikes! And these two have a kid!?
Sunday, July 3:
• A Kerr-Vert came to the Free State of Bantucky to possess pot and the pipe with which to smoke it and to be pickled in public to boot. Well, there it is.
• A Bandera Bozo was dogged by two warrants from an outside agency.
• A couple of Souses from San Antonio were believed to be paralytic in public.
Monday, July 4:
• A Reveler from River City celebrated our nation’s 240th birthday by possessing a dangerous drug, being dogged by a failure-to-appear warrant and, perhaps most shocking of all, driving without a license.
• Driving without a license, but with some booze in him for a first time led to the downfall of a Helotes Hick.
• A 17-year-old Pipe Creep remains in the quod after being chare with felony possession of a PG1 controlled substance and a pipe with which to smoke it. His friend, although charged with but a first DWI is keeping him company in the cooler.