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2016-06-16

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, June 6:
• A Bandera Bonehead remains in the quod after being nicked due to a felony warrant that could revoke his probation and for misdemeanor burglary – unsuccessful, we presume – of a vehicle.
• Ditto, except this gink’s possible revocation of probation is just a warrant of a misdemeanor variety and he apparently did not break into a vehicle – or perhaps authorities just don’t know about that yet.
Tuesday, June 7:
• A Lush from Leakey was presumably pie-eyed in public.
• Uh, oh, this was just the first of several local weedwackers of the female persuasion who got busted last week.
• Public lewdness was the charge that got a local yokel sent to the slammer for a few hours.
• A second weedwacker was busted.
• A Pipe Creep remains confined to the county can for failing to appear and for being dogged by a warrant that may revoke his probation.
• A Bad-Tempered Bandera Babe was believed to have assaulted someone with bodily injury and also was but one step behind that ubiquitous warrant that may … Oh, well, you know the rest.
• A 17-year-old River City Reveler was caught driving with neither license nor liability insurance. Mummy and Daddy apparently failed to bond out their Little Darlin’ cause he’s still in the gaol.
Wednesday, June 8:
• A Booger from Bandera looks to have assaulted someone by contact.
• And the trifecta was hit after a third bird weedwacker was taken into custody.

Thursday, June 9:
• A felony bench warrant warranted the arrest of a denizen of the Lake District and so he was and so he remains – in the can, that is.
• A 70-year-old Kerr-Vert has been caught drinkin’ & drivin’ for an ostensible first time.
• A Bandera Bad Girl apparently assaulted someone by threat.
• A Master Criminal from the Creek District found himself dangling from the Long Arm of John Law after it was determined he had perpetrated a false alarm or report.
Friday, June 10:
• It seems as though a Cowboy Capital Criminal has committed robbery.
• A 17-year-old Bantucky Bonehead was tripped up by a misdemeanor court order.
• A Lakehills Choleric was detained for misdemeanor assault with bodily injury.
• A Person of No Known Address was purportedly pissed in public.
• A Blockhead from Bandera not only failed to appear, but was also caught driving without a license (cue: “Gasp!”).
• Whereas another was found to have been possessing inhalant paraphernalia, but apparently not the stuff you put in it.
Saturday, June 11:
• A court ordered that someone be placed under arrest for a misdemeanor and so he was. For the record, he remains a guest of the Doo Drop Inn.
• A Bandera Boozer hit a triptych after being collared for driving with an open container, bouncing a rubber check and for having no liability insurance.
Sunday, June 12:
• A quartet of 18- and 19-year-old Slugs from San Antone were picked up for pot possession and one for a warrant from an outside agency.
• A Boozer from Bandera was nailed for a felony third DWI.