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2016-06-02

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, May 23:
• A Criminal from the Cowboy Capital remains confined in the county can after being charged with three felony warrants – two from outside agencies and another for failing to appear – along with, for good measure, misdemeanor possession of paraphernalia.
Tuesday, May 24:
• A Mansfield Mope appears to still be under Lock & Key for felony possession of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance and for being dogged by a failing-to-appear warrant.
Wednesday, May 25:
• A Lout from Lakehills, who remains receiving “three hots & a cot,” courtesy of God-fearing local taxpayers, has been charged with a sextet (snigger, snigger) of misdemeanors, including a trio of failure-to-appear warrants, evading and resisting arrest and possessing a dangerous drug.
Thursday, May 26:
• A Bandera Bonehead drove without a license.
• A Souse from Sandusky was picked up for being pickled in public.
Friday, May 27:
• A felony warrant that seemed sufficient to revoke his probation sent a local yokel to the calaboose – where he remains.
• It appears a Bumpkin from Bandera violated some kind of court order.
Saturday, May 28:
• Well, what’s a City Slicker from San Antone gonna do on a Sattiday night in the Free State of Bantucky if he doesn’t have a little felonious PG 1 controlled substance in his pocket?
• A Crapulent from Channelview – huh? – was purportedly pissed in public. Well, I ask again, what else is a guy going to do on a rainy night in the stix if not drink?
Sunday, May 29:
• Ditto except this Boozer was from Bandera.
A 62 year old just picked up his very first DWI.
Monday, May 30:
• A Crapulous Pipe Creep has been charged with a felony third DWI. He remains in the slammer for his bad judgment.
• Whereas a female neighbor of the above now appears to have but one DWI on her rap sheet.