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2016-05-26

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, May 16:
• A LaPorte Lush allegedly committed a felony by driving drunk with a minor child in her vehicle.
• A Well-Brought-Up Bandera Beauty with a penchant for violence appears to have committed felony family violence.
Tueasday, May 17:
• A felony warrant from an outside agency put the skids on the good times of a Pipe Creep and he continues to slurp from the taxpayers’ you-know-whats for his trouble.
Thursday, May 19:
• Another Pipe Creep was nicked for assault by contact.
Friday, May 20:
• A 66-year-old woman was arrested for – pay attention to this one, folks! – resisting arrest and failing to identify.
• A court ordered that a felonious Bandera Bonehead be arrested and he was.
• A Cowboy Capital Criminal remains in the county can after finding himself in the clutches of John Law on account of a misdemeanor Judgment Nisi – Google it!!!
Saturday, May 21:
• A couple of elbow benders from Bandera and the Creek District were pinched for first DWIs.
Sunday, May 22:
• A Mope from Medina found herself in HOT WATER and charged with retaliation, resisting arrest, failing to ID and for being pissed in public. The latter charge might explain the former charges a little.
Monday, May 23:
• A Blockhead from Bandera remains under Lock & Key for disregarding a felony failure-to-appear warrant, along with possession of paraphernalia and two misdemeanor warrants from an outside agency.