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2016-05-05

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, April 25:
• It seems as tho’ a Bandera Bonehead got all likkered up – in public, no less – and failed in his attempt to boost something worth more than 50 bucks, but less than $500.
• A misdemeanor traffic warrant stopped a mope from motoring merrily along in the Hill Country.
• A Bandera Booger has not only failed to appear, but he’s also apparently failed to adhere to the kind suggestions of a previous court.
Tuesday, April 26:
• A Bad-Tempered Banderan was sent to the slammer after he ostensibly committed felony assault with bodily injury.
Wednesday, April 27:
• Uh, oh, a Pipe Creep might have committed felony unauthorized use of a motor vehicle – to you and me, that’s jackin’ a car.
Thursday, April 28:
• Don’t look now, but a Bandera Boozer appears to have been busted for his first DWI.
• A Slug from San Antone failed to appear and remains confined to the quod for his trouble.
• A Crapulent from the Creek District seems to now have a second DWI on his record. Hey, Dude, another strike and yer out!
Friday, April 29:
O• h, no, say it ain’t so – a local yokel was busted for two charges of felony possession of a controlled substance – and is out on bond.
• Whereas, a Geek from Granberry, who was only charged with misdemeanor possession of a “dangerous drug,” remains under lock and key.
• This Cowboy Capital Criminal hit the trifecta after being charged with a first DWI and two – count ‘em, two – misdemeanor traffic warrants.
• Ditto a Pipe Creek Cretin, who was also nicked for possession of a felony Penalty Group 1 controlled substance and the misdemeanor pipe with which to smoke it, as well as for felony tampering with or fabricating evidence.
• Ditto again for the above’s apparent cohort-in-crime and add to her charges, weedwacking.
Saturday, April 30:
• Now, I ask you, what’s a fellow from Tarpley going to do in the Free State of Bantucky on a Sattiday nite except get pissed in public?
• Well, for one thing, as evidenced by this Lakehills Hellion, you could assault someone with bodily injury – which he might have done.
• Or, you could commit felony burglary of a habitat as this Bandera Bonehead seems to have been caught in the act of.
• Or, simply follow the example of this Boozing Bandera Bandito and drive drunk for a second time.
Sunday, May 1:
• To celebrate May Day, a Hellion from Houston and his moll, a Creepette from Cleveland, were arrested for felony manufacture and delivery of more than four grams, but less than 200 grams of a PG 1 controlled substance. Hey, bringing drugs to Bandera, ain’t that kinda like takin’ coal to Newcastle?! The pair remains incarcerated for their singular lapse of judgment.
• A Lakehills Lassie, who remains still in the gaol, was pinched on account of a felony warrant from an outside agency as well as for a pesky criminal trespass charge.