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2016-04-14

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, April 4:
• A 69-year-old Skell from Spendora failed to follow the instructions of a previous court(s) and thus he was caught and released in Bantucky for his transgression(s).
• Gasbag Banderan was pinched for possession of pot, along with the pipe with which to smoke it, as well as for unsuccessfully evading arrest.
Tuesday, April 5:
• A Miscreant from Medina was found to be carrying some of the aforementioned weed, in addition to an unlawful firearm.
• A court ordered the arrest of yet another Medina Moron and so he was.
• A Lackey from the Lake District had to be reminded that harassment is against the law.
• A Bonehead from Bandera remains in the can for disregarding a quartet of failure-to-appear warrants; boosting something worth more than $1,500, but less than $20,000; and for – once again – unsuccessfully evading arrest.
• Driving in a state of apparent crapulence earned a Pipe Creep his first DWI.
Wednesday, April 6:
• A 17-year-old resident of Rosenburg was picked up for an FBP detainer – whatever that is! Mebbe Federal Bureau of Prisons, but if that were the case, wouldn’t this Master Criminal still be behind bars!? – and for possession of inhalant paraphernalia – and we all know what THAT is.
• It would appear two Bonehead Brothers from Bandera went at it, resulting in one being charged with misdemeanor assault with bodily injury and the other with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Good thing Thanksgiving is seven months away. I wouldn’t want to be sittin’ around THAT dinner table!!!
Thursday, April 7:
• Here’s a beaut from Lakehills: This 49 year old who, thankfully, is still confined to the county calaboose, has been charged with a trio of felonies – two for family violence and another for assault with bodily injury.
• A Banderan with a Bad Memory was nicked for driving without a license.
• A Kerr-Vert of the female persuasion remains under Lock & Key, charged with misdemeanor criminal trespass.
Friday, April 8:
• A Bad-Tempered Banderan – who might be related to the Bonehead Band of Brothers written about above – was picked up for assault by contact.
• Oh, no, yet another Kerr-Vert remains a prisoner of our fair quod for possession of that ever-popular Penalty Group 1 controlled substance.
• Whereas someone caught carrying weed only got booked and released.
• A 17-year-old Sad Sack remains in the Doo Drop Inn, charged with graffiti at a school.
• At just 20 years, this Cowboy Capital Criminal in the Making remains incarcerated after being involved in possible misdemeanor criminal mischief.
Saturday, April 9:
• A Boozer from Bandera picked up a second DWI while a couple of A-Holes from “Keep” Austin “Weird” were detained for being pie-eyed in public.
Sunday, April 10:
• A denizen from Center Point is still receiving “three hots & a cot,” courtesy of thee and me, for carrying weed and being pissed in public to boot. Bet that guy was feeling no pain.
• And “Well, lookee here! What do we have here?” Another You-Know-What from Austin was thought to be pissed in public.
This endth this weeks arrest report from the Cowboy Capital of the World …