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2016-03-17

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, March 7:
• A Pipe Creepette was busted for making like “Breaking Bad” and attempting to manufacture and deliver –albeit rather unsuccessfully, it would seem – more than four but less than 200 grams of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance. She remains under Lock & Key for her felonious behavior.
• A Bad-Tempered Bad Girl from Bandera has been charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, but she is out on bond, so “Duck for cover!”
Tuesday, March 8:
• A Crapulent Toppler from Cibolo was confined in the county can for being three sheets to the wind in public.
• A court ordered that a Pip from Pipe Creek be remanded to the quod for a previous felony and so he was and so he remains.
• Oh, no, it would seem that a cohort in crime to the first babe listed in this arrest report was picked up a day late, but perhaps not a dollar short, for the same felonious crimes. He, too, remains a Guest of the Doo Drop Inn.
Thursday, March 10:
• A Skell from San Antonio also remains in the hoosegow on account of a felony bench warrant and for some kind of detainer that, frankly, I can’t make out. Suffice to say, he’s still off the streets – hopefully.
• A Lovely Lassie from Lakehills has bonded out of the quod after being charged with felony possession of less than one gram of a PG 1 controlled substance. Hmmmm, must have been for her own personal use.
Friday, March 11:
• Okay, this guy sounds like a sweetheart. A publically intoxicated 24-year-old resident of the Lake District resisted arrest and assaulted a public servant – a felony to be sure. However, not to fear, he bonded out after spending but a single night in the choky.
• A court ordered that a Slug from San Antone be arrested on a misdemeanor charge and he was and he’s still getting three hots and cot courtesy of county taxpayers.
Sunday, March 13:
• A Bandera Boozer has found himself charged with a second DWI. Getting perilously close to that felonious line, fella.
• A Rabid Rabble from River City – well, there was only one guy, but I liked the alliteration – went on a Rampage and was found to be in possession of paraphernalia, felonious chemicals and that pesky PG 1 controlled substance, in addition to – and here’s the kicker! – driving without a license.
• Yet another Young Lovely from the Lake District was perhaps carrying that ubiquitous and ever popular PG 1 controlled substance which also could be referred to as meth.
Monday, March 14:
• Uh, oh, a so-called felony Blue Warrant might send a Sweetheart from San Antonio back to the Big House if her parole is revoked. Meanwhile, she still resides in our fair jug.
• … as does a Bandera Bad Boy for misdemeanor carrying inhalant paraphernalia.