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2016-01-07

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Sicilian Buttercup BCC Stringer

Monday, Dec. 21:
• After a Lakehills Hellion committed aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, he accountably found himself charged with a felony.
Tuesday, Dec. 22:
• Being caught with inhalant paraphernalia seemed sufficient to send to the slammer a Miscreant from Medina - for but a few hours, of course.
• A Bandera Buffoon racked up a triptych of misdemeanor charges, including an "other" warrant and driving while intoxicated but without a license.
• A 20-year-old Bozo from Bandera was charged with a quartet of misdemeanors such as possessing pot and the "put in your pipe and smoke that in" - with apologizes to Stephen Sondheim - as well as driving without a license and "escape." And, while the nature of that charge escapes me, apparently the Bozo didn't.
Friday, Dec. 25:
• "Merry Christmas, Bandera," said a Birdbrain from Baytown, who spent some hours in the quod for being publically intoxicated, resisting arrest and assaulting a public servant. What a Christmas that gink had!!!
• A felonious Kerr-vert burgled a building and, because there WAS room at the inn, spent a night in it. We mean the X Bar Inn, of course.
• A Pipe Creek Pip drove without a license.
Saturday, Dec. 26:
• A Cutie from Converse committed a felony by carrying a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance.
• A Leakey Lickspittle was apparently arrested for speeding, while being dogged by a failure-to-appear warrant.
A Bad-Tempered Banderan remains confined to the county can for misdemeanor assault with bodily injury.
Friday, Jan. 1, 2016:
• To celebrate the New Year, a Boneheaded Banderan drank and drove for an ostensible first time.
• And a San Antonian was surprised to have been slapped with a misdemeanor warrant that may revoke his probation - a charge for which he remains in Bandera's Big House.
Saturday, Jan. 2:
• A misdemeanor "other" warrant put the kibosh on the good times of a Pipe Creep.
Sunday, Jan. 3:
• A Cowboy Capital Criminal issued in the New Year by being busted for failing to appear and for having no liability insurance, to boot.
Monday, Jan. 4:
• Whereas a Kerrville Kretin remains under Lock & Key for a first arrest for being inebriated before assuming the wheel.