Headline News
Go Back

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Buff Orpington BCC Stringer

Monday, Nov. 16:
• It looks like a Bodacious Boozer from Bandera has her legal work cut out for her. She's been charged with a trio of felony DWIs, presumably for being inebriated behind a wheel with three very minor kids in the car. Here's an idea, lady, why don't you just not drive when you drink? Another thought, better call Saul.
• A Sinner from Center Point was sent to the slammer for seemingly felony hindrance of apprehension and prosecution of a ne'r-do-will.
• A misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency sent a Bandera Brigand to the Brig for a bit.
• A Babe, who seems to have dual citizenship in the Cowboy Capital and River City, apparently drove without a license - here, not there.
Tuesday, Nov. 17:
• An A-Hole from Austin found himself dangling from the Long Arm of the Law after being nicked for indecent exposure - which, IMO, could mean he was caught relieving himself in public.
• After being charged with four felony warrants, including three from an outside agency and another from an "other," a Bandera Booger spent a couple of days in the can for his trouble.
• No surprise here, a Lassie from Lakehills has been pinched for felony possession of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance and for misdemeanor possession of a merely dangerous drug. She's still behind bars by the way.
Wednesday, Nov. 18:
• A Slug from San Antone tried to get away with driving without a license, but he didn't.
• Making like a female Walter White, a Banderan attempted to manufacture and deliver more than four but less than 200 grams of a PG 1 controlled substance, but she, too, was thwarted in her attempt at opening what might, in these parts, be considered a successful small business.
• A court ordered that a Lunk from the Lake District be arrested and he was - and he still remains under Lock & Key.
Thursday, Nov. 19:
• A Moron from Midland thought he could steal a firearm with impunity. He was wrong, as usual and for his felonious trouble now remains a Guest of the X Bar Inn.
• A felony warrant from an outside agency whisked a Lakehills Lassie off to the hoosegow - where she, too, remains.
Friday, Nov. 20:
• Why are so many felons from San Antonio incarcerated in Bandera? This gink was being dogged by a felony warrant that may revoke his probation. Meanwhile, he's still getting "three hots & a cot" courtesy of county taxpayers. I think Bexar County and SA owe us some change, don't you?
• After failing to appear, a Hick from Helotes also resides in our fair quod. She needs to go back to Bexar County, too.
An 18-year-old local yokel was busted for weedwacking.
• As was - wait for it! - a San Antonio Sluggard for failing to appear and for a misdemeanor warrant that may - wait for it!! - revoke his probation.
Sunday, Nov. 22:
• So, not only did this Pipe Creep drive without a license but his vehicle also sported a loving-hands-at-home inspection sticker and perhaps insurance card. A Master Forger appears to be among us.
• A Kerr-Vert remains in the pokey after being picked up for a felonious third DWI.
• As does a - you guessed it - Souse from San Antonio, who purportedly proved unable to hold his likker in public.