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2015-09-24

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Buff Orpington BCC Stringer

Monday, Sept. 14:
• A Chump from Canyon Lake bonded out again despite being nicked for a felony off-bond warrant. Well, hope certainly springs eternal in the bail bond community.
• Whereas a Lakehills Lawbreaker remains confined to the county can on account of being charged with a trio of misdemeanors, including being pissed in public, evading arrest - none too successfully - and for being caught with a dangerous drug.
Tuesday, Sept. 15:
• A Bodacious Babe from Bandera faces a felony charge of fraudulent transfer of a vehicle.
• A Rosebud Beaut purportedly possessed more than four but less than 200 grams of a controlled substance - a felony amount, to be sure.
Wednesday, Sept. 16:
• Oh, no, a Lush from the Lake District was determined to be pie-eyed in public.
• A Comfort Clot, who, at 30, was old enough to know better, was caught with weed.
Thursday, Sept. 17:
• A Crapulent from Pipe Creek faces his first DWI.
• An A-Hole from Austin remains under Lock & Key for a quartet of misdemeanor charges, such as a court order, pot possession and two warrants from outside agencies.
• A De-Loverly Lady from the Lake District still resides in the slammer where she was send due to ostensibly being dogged by a felony warrant that may - just may - revoke her probation.
• A New Braunfels Nincompoop might have been too buzzed to realize his inhalant paraphernalia - or some such - remained on his person.
• Well, this Pipe Creep made it to 56 before being stopped for his first DWI. I suppose that's something.
Friday, Sept. 18:
• A Bandera Booby was snagged by the Long Arm of John Law for a misdemeanor warrant that may revoke her probation and for another warrant that indicated she had not paid strict attention to the suggestions of a previous court. Why is that not surprising?
• Oh, great, here's a San Antonio Simpleton who should be up for Mother of the Year. Not that I'm prejudging, but this 21-year-old idiot was not only charged with carrying a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance, but also with driving drunk with a child in her vehicle. Both were felonies.
Saturday, Sept. 19:
• A Boozer from Bulverde was apparently publically intoxicated.
• A Bonehead from Bandera finds herself facing two felony charges indicating she had failed to stop after an accident that involved injury or death.
• A Bad-Tempered Banderan might have assaulted someone with resultant bodily injury.
• Some guy from somewhere possessed pot.
• A misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency seems to have put the kibosh on the good times of a Cowboy Capital Criminal.
• A Lush from Lakehills received his first DWI and remains in the quod on account of it.
• Oh, no, a Kerr-Vert felt compelled to travel to the Free State of Bantucky to commit public intoxication and he's still in the slammer for it.
• A Perp from Center Point was detained but a short time although his crime was seemingly being dogged by a felony warrant from an outside agency.
• A Local Yokel appears to be on his way to a felony charge after a second DWI.
Sunday, Sept. 20:
• A 19-year-old Bandera Bandito (hey, not THAT kind) was believed to have been unable to hold his likker in public. Is he even old enough to hold his likker legally?
• A Cat's Paw from Kyle also found himself arrested for being three sheets to the wind in public.
And, last, but not least, not only was this Lakehills Lawbreaker a weedwacker, but he was also determined to be carrying illegally - and we probably don't mean blunt.