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Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Buff Orpington BCC Correspondent

Monday, August 24:
• A Slug from San Antonio remains in custody due to a trifecta of charges, including felony possession of a controlled substance and pot, to boot, as well as a warrant from an outside agency.
• The above guy's apparent cohort in crime of a female variety also remains in the can for felony manufacture and delivery of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance, felony tampering with evidence and for a outstanding felony warrant from an outside agency, in addition to misdemeanors that include blunt and another warrant from an outside agency.
Tuesday, August 25:
• A 19-year-old Bandera Bad Boy is still taking up space in the local quod for three traffic warrants and two others - one of which might be a felony - that indicated he had failed to appear before previous courts.
• A Lunkhead from Lakehills also remains behind bars for ubiquitous failure-to-appear and traffic warrants.
• A Bandera Bad Girl got pinched for being dogged by a misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency.
• A Nincompoop from Poteet purportedly failed to heed the ministrations from a previous court.
• And the good times of a 19-year-old Bandera Boyo were thwarted by a yet another pesky warrant from an outside agency. You know, no matter how hard you try, you just can't wish away those "outside" warrants - or any others for that matter.
• A Lawbreaker from Lakehills got his comeuppance and a trip to the slammer - where he remains - due to a felony failure-to-appear warrant.
• A failure-to-appear warrant and another pertaining to traffic seemed sufficient to spoil the good times of a Bodacious Bandera Babe.
• So, this local yokel seems to have had a problem with an occupational license. My best guess(es): 1) Either he pretended to have one and didn't 2) He had one but it wasn't valid or 3) A combination of 1 and 2. But, I could be wrong.
Wednesday, August 26:
• Three misdemeanor warrants from various outside agencies seemed sufficient to send to the slammer a Camp Wood Cretin, a Medina Moron and a Bandera Blockhead.
Thursday, August 27:
• A couple of fine upstanding citizens of the Free State of Bantucky might have been feloniously manufacturing and delivering more than four, but less than 200 grams of a controlled substance. The guy remains behind Lock & Key, but his moll bonded out.
• Is there anyone in the Cowboy Capital who DOESN'T have a warrant from an outside agency lurking in his or her background? I'm just askin'.
• Two 19-year-old weedwackers from River City thought they could get away with going one toke over the line here, but they couldn't.
Friday, August 28:
• A felony bench warrant warranted that a Blockhead from Bandera be picked up and he was.
Saturday, August 29:
• A Bandera Boozer was hauled in for a first DWI with his companion charged with being pissed in public.
• A Center Point Prankster wasn't laughing after he was nicked for failing to take care of a trio of traffic warrants.
• A Simpleton from San Antone - who, at 35 is certainly old enuff to know better - was hauled off to the hoosegow for weed possession and a warrant from - you guessed it!!! - an outside agency.
• A Lakehills Lush appeared to have been driving drunk for the magical third time, which ups this charge to a felony.
Sunday, August 30:
• And a Boozer from Bandera might have been inebriated behind a wheel with a child passenger, which elevates that charge to felony status also.
• For good measure an elbow-bender from Medina was deemed to be three sheets to the wind in public.
Monday, August 31:
• Folks, I have been writing the arrest report for eight years now and I can attest that this is my personal best is so far as offenses charged. Since this buffoon is only 27 years old, we have another 60 years of sighing at his outside-of-the-law antics. The only saving grace is that he's apparently from Boerne. Here goes:
• felony manufacture and deliver of a PG 1 controlled substance
• 10 failures to appear
• 2 instances of pot possession and the paraphernalia with which to smoke it
• 7 misdemeanor possessions of a dangerous drug
• pot possession in a not-so drug-free zone
• 3 capius pro fine warrants
• misdemeanor possession of a dangerous drug
• traffic warrant
• and a partridge in a pear tree
For what it's worth, this gink remains a guest of the X Bar Inn.