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2015-04-23

Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, April 6:
• A Lollygagger from Lakehills was caught driving without a license.
• A Bonehead Banderan remains confined to the county can after being charged with three misdemeanors, including possessing a controlled substance and dangerous drug, as well as a failure-to-appear warrant.
Tuesday, April 7:
• A Pipe Creek Cretin also remains incommunicado due to two felony charges - retaliation and a warrant from an outside agency.
• A third prisoner, still under Lock & Key, seems to be a Sweetwater Scofflaw who not only failed to appear previously, but also didn't take seriously a previous court's admonitions and because a court ordered that he be locked up - so he was.
• A Boozer from Bandera is in deep water after being picked up on a felony third DWI.
Wednesday, April 8:
• Yet another Master Criminal from the Cowboy Capital was detained due to a string of transgressions that included felony possession of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance, as well as four misdemeanor warrants for failing-to-appear X 2 and not being able to drive properly X two.
• Oh, no a Kerr-Vert is a weedwacker!
• While a 25-year-old Bandera Babe apparently was holding inhalant paraphernalia and a - surprise, surprise! - failure-to-appear warrant. Sweetie, like Guido used to say: "You pay now, you pay later!"
Friday, April 10:
• A Bandera Bandito got popped for purportedly not paying a traffic fine or some such.
Whereas a Bad-Driving Banderan was nicked for reckless driving and remains a guest of our fine jail for his trouble.
Saturday, April 11:
• Well, lookee here, the same guy busted for a felony third DWI on Tuesday, was pinched for felony fourth and fifth (?!) DWIs even though the arrest report indicated he had three felony third DWIs. We'll let his attorney and the DA sort this one out.
• After apparently being picked up for a misdemeanor traffic warrant, a Lunkhead from Lakehills failed to tell the booking officer at the jail he was carrying a "substance that is prohibited in a corrections facility" so now this mental giant faces a felony, too.
• Well, it wouldn't be a Sattiday nite in the Free State of Bantucky unless someone was arrested for public intoxication, now would it?
Sunday, April 12:
• An 18-year-old Son of San Antonio purportedly possessed pot.
• It would seem a Denizen of the Lake District failed to obtain a driver's license and so remains behind bars until he does or until he makes bail, whichever comes first.
• A Power Couple from Bandera and Pipe Creek are still in the quod after supposedly secreted on their collective persons the ubiquitous PG 1 controlled substance so many people in this neck of the woods seem so fond of.
Monday, April 13:
• A Slug from San Antone remains in Bandera's Big House after being detained on two felony warrants that could, in fact, revoke his probation.
• So, not only is this Limpet from Leakey being held at the behest of Real County, he also was caught driving without a license, AND with a failure-to-appear warrant on his tail.
• A Bandera Booby was nabbed on account of having in his murky past misdemeanor traffic and failure-to-appear warrants.
Tuesday, April 14:
• A Center Point Perp remains living off the largesse of county taxpayers for felony arson and a misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency.
• As does his presumed cohort-in-crime - well, except for that felony arson charge.
• A Lugubrious Limburger from Lakehills still languishes in lockup for felony possession of a PG 1 controlled substance, assault with bodily injury, criminal mischief and unlawful carrying. He's a real high achiever, now ain't he?
Wednesday, April 15:
• A Medina Dipsomaniac found herself charged with being pissed in public.
• Not to be outdone, a local yokel faces a driving-without-a-license charge.
Thursday, April 16:
• A Sassy Sista from San Antone now finds herself slapped with resisting arrest.
• A Canyon Lake Cretin remains a guest of the Doo Drop Inn for two felonies - carrying the ubiquitous PG 1 controlled substance and for a warrant from an outside agency.
• A couple of other local dopes - literally! - from Lakehills and Pipe Creek found themselves on the wrong side of John Law due to their propensity for carrying controlled substances.
• However, not to be outdone, could a Bandera Babe possibly have forgotten about the prohibited paraphernalia in her pocket, as well as that pesky failure-to-appear warrant?
• Well, it was inevitable, a Bandera Boozer was popped for being pie-eyed in public - and her cohort in crime for a first DWI.
Friday, April 17:
• An Unassuming Unaware from Uvalde remains incognito in the quod after being picked up for a felony motion that may revoke her probation.
• So, not only did a Sot from Spring get stopped for a second DWI, but he apparently failed to stop to render aid to someone who might have been injured - or even dead! At least I think that's what the arrest report indicated.
Saturday, April 18:
• A Hickette from Hico found herself in hot water because she accumulated three warrants that indicated she had failed to adhere to the suggestions of myriad previous courts.
• While being Blotto from Brazoria, this gink received his second DWI.
Sunday, April 19:
• "Why not celebrate the Sabbath by being three sheets to the wind in public?" asked a citizen of Universal City - and not rhetorically.
• Due to a traffic warrant and another for failing to appear, a Blockhead from Bandera remains in the calaboose.
• Ditto for a Wretch from Rio Medina, but he was charged with unlawful possession as a felon. Now he has at least two felonies on the books.