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Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, March 23:
• A 63-year-old Boerne Babe was finally caught driving without a license.
Tuesday, March 24:
• And a 67-year-old Boozer from Bandera just received his first DWI.
• Although charged with five misdemeanors, including having an open container in his vehicle, two counts of driving without a license and a pair of failure-to-appear warrants, a Bandera Bandito spent but a few hours under lock & key.
• A capius pro fine warrant seemed sufficient to send a Boob from Bandera to the slammer for a few scant hours.
• However, a Scofflaw from San Antone still remains in the X Bar Inn after being caught with a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance.
• Oh, tell me it ain't so, a lovely local yokel was found to be pie-eyed in public in Bantucky!!!!
• A Bandera Bumbershoot made it out of the quod in record time despite being charged with felony possession of a PG 1 controlled substance and felony tampering with or fabricating evidence, as well as myriad misdemeanors, including weed and the pipe with which to smoke it and possessing some kind of other controlled substance, for good measure.
Wednesday, March 25:
• A Hick from Hondo got clipped for a first DWI.
• Whereas, a Ninny from North Hollywood - California, we presume - had the great bad fortune to be pinched for a DWI while being in this country illegally. In the Golden State, the hombre would be a candidate for a quick catch & release, but maybe not so much here in the Long Star State.
Friday, March 27:
• So, what is this? Drunk Driving Week? A Lush from Longview was nicked for - you guessed it - being befuddled and behind a wheel at the same time.
• A Highland Village Villain is being detained for the misdemeanor of "Occupational License " - whatever that is!?
• A San Antonio Simpleton remains a guest of county taxpayers after being booked into the Doo Drop Inn on a sextet of misdemeanors, including a trio of failure-to-appear warrants and three counts of bouncing checks.
• It would appear a Miscreant from McKinny obstructed a highway and is still paying the price. Once upon a time in this county, that was a euphemism for drunk driving, but no longer - we hope.
Saturday, March 28:
• Yet another Bandera Boob was caught driving without a license.
• A Dunderhead from the Lake District not only possessed paraphernalia and blunt, but also a failure-to-appear warrant.
Sunday, March 29:
• A Kerr-Vert got caught driving intoxicated - again.
• A Boozer from Bandera was purportedly thought to be pickled in public.
Monday, March 30:
• A Pipe Creek Creature - ostensibly just too, too busy to apply for a driver's license - thought he could get away with motoring along without one, but thought wrong!