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Law West and East of Privilege Creek

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, Dec. 1:
• A 66-year-old male resident of Bandera was arrested on two felony counts of sexual assault and sexual conduct.
Tuesday, Dec. 2:
• Another Banderan found himself in hot water, charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
• So, not only was this Cowboy Capital Creep charged with felony burglary of a building, but also with a slew of misdemeanors, including driving without a license, and being dogged by two warrants - one for not appearing and the second for driving badly in the past. For his transgressions, he remains confined to the county can.
• A 43-year-old Bandera Babe boosted something worth between $50 and $500 and spent a night in the slammer for her trouble.
Wednesday, Dec. 3:
• Apparently a bad-tempered Young Lovely from Lakehills was nicked for assaulting someone with bodily injury.
• Three hots & a cot are still being doled out to a Lakehills Lawbreaker, who is apparently facing a felony warrant that may revoke his probation.
• A Blockhead from Bandera also remains under lock & key after being busted for manufacturing and attempting to deliver more than four but less than 200 grams of a Penalty Grade 1 controlled substance.
• So, do you think this Crapulent Chick from the Cowboy Capital realizes she has just one more DWI to go before she's charged with a felony? Hey, Sweetie, here's a bit of advice, "Don't get tanked up and slide behind a vehicle's steering wheel again or it's really gonna cost ya!" Good DWI lawyers don't come cheap!
• Surprise, surprise, a 27-year-old girly girl from the Lake District was pinched for carrying a controlled substance. She remains a guest of the X Bar Inn, charged with a felony.
Thursday, Dec. 4:
• A Fool from Fort Worth found himself nailed for not minding the ministrations of a previous court.
Friday, Dec. 5:
• Not only was a local yokel found to be driving with a license, but he was also carrying some verboten paraphernalia.
• A Boob from Bandera remains in the Big House after being identified as the subject of a felony bench warrant.
• Uh, oh, a San Antonio Sot was also stopped for a second DWI. Please see rant above.
• A 37-year-old dunderhead remains confined to the county quod after being nabbed for misdemeanor possession of pot and some kind of controlled substance, as well as for felony possession of a PG1 controlled substance. Really! Lady, you can't just straighten out your life and become a productive member of society?
Saturday, Dec. 6:
• A tanked-up Hick from Helotes found himself incarcerated after a first attempt at driving while intoxicated.
• Two misdemeanor warrants - one that will perhaps revoke his probation and the other for not paying attention to the suggestions of a previous court - seemed sufficient to send a Bandera Birdbrain to the jug for a while at least.
Sunday, Dec. 7:
• What better way to celebrate the Sabbath than by being pie-eyed in public?
• Or receiving your first DWI?
• Or being locked up - and remaining so - for pot possession and assaulting someone with bodily injury. Dude, I thought weed was supposed to mellow you out! What happened!?