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2014-08-28

- Law West and East of Privilege Creek -

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, August 18:
• Despite being the recipient of two felonies, a failure-to-appear warrant and possessing enough pot (more than five but less than 50 pounds) to satisfy the Mile High City, a Cretin from Crystal City was in and out of the hoosegow in record time.
• A Buffoon from Bandera not only failed to appear, but also resisted arrest - albeit none too successfully.
• A Hot-Tempered Hellion from the Lake District found herself charged with assault with bodily injury.
• After criminally trespassing in some shop, a Bad Girl from Bandera apparently attempted to set matters straight by attempting to boost something worth less than $50.
Tuesday, August 19:
• A 50something Bandera Booby - certainly old enough to know better - with a couple of traffic offenses under her belt, or whatever, decided to also drive without benefit of a license. Not for nothing, but I don't think anyone will be sending her an invite to join MENSA.
Wednesday, August 20:
• Although he attempted to assault someone by threat, a Pipe Creep was sent to the slammer instead.
• A misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency was purportedly enough to send a Git from Georgetown to Bandera's Big House.
Thursday, August 21:
• A Blockhead from Bergheim drove aaaalllllll the waaaaaay to Bandera only to be nicked for assaulting someone by contact rather than to peruse her art galleries and funky little coffee shops.
• Here's the deal, you Bandera Brigand. To operate a motor vehicle within the perimeters of the law, you must obtain both a current driver's license and liability insurance. If not, it's the choky for you - as one Bubba soon discovered.
• As a Bodacious Bandera Babe quickly found out, even in the Free State of Bantucky, it remains illegal to possess more than four but less than 20 grams of a controlled substance. It's also a felony, too.
• A Criminal from the Cowboy Capital remains confined to the county can for being dogged by a quartet of capius pro fine warrants, which means this genius failed to heed the suggestions of myriad prior courts.
Friday, August 22:
• Prithee, can one expect anything more from a habitué of Uvalde than him being crapulent in public? Methinks not.
Saturday, August 23:
• A Boozer from Bandera was busted for her ostensible inaugural DWI.
• A Kerr-Vert found the hard way that it's still illegal to possess MJ in Bandera - even less than two ounces. Is that a little or a lot?
Sunday, August 24:
• To celebrate the Sabbath, a Minkey from Medina assaulted someone with bodily injury.
• A Blackguard from Bandera remains in the hoosegow after being picked up on a felony motion that may revoke his probation.
• For making a terroristic threat, a 17-year-old nutcase also remains a guest of the Doo Drop Inn.
Monday, August 25:
• A trio of traffic warrants seemed sufficient to send a Slummer from San Antone to the Slammer.