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2014-07-10

- Law East and West of Privilege Creek -

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, June 30:
• A Bandera Bozo got busted for felony injury to a disabled person and, as a result, remains confined to the county clink.
• After failing to burgle a residence, a Sleazebag from San Antonio seems to have spent sufficient time in the slammer to contemplate his sins as well as a felony charge.
• A couple of Bandera potheads purportedly each possessed more than 20 ounces but less than 40 ounces of the stuff.
• A local yokel looks to have ignored the learned ministrations of previous courts at least three times.
• So, this Cowboy Capital Criminal-In-Training was not only caught driving without a license, but also with a fictional - at worst - or altered - at best - registration sticker.
Tuesday, July 1:
• A Bandera Blockhead remains under lock & key for a trio of felonies, including possession of less than one gram of a Penalty Grade 1 controlled substance, manufacture and delivery of more than four but less than 200 grams of the aforementioned controlled substance and for not having an owner's permission before "borrowing" his vehicle, as well as for a misdemeanor traffic offence and being dogged by a failure-to-appear warrant.
Wednesday, July 2:
• A 38-year-old Cretin from Corpus also remains a guest of the Doo Drop Inn due to three felony warrants from an outside agency - ouch, sweetheart! - and for failing to identify herself plus having a dangerous drug of some kind.
• A Stoner from San Antone got pinched with pot.
Thursday, July 3:
• Oh, this is GREAT! Apparently Jeff Spicoli is all grown up and living in Bandera 'cause this 50something idjit was busted for tooling around with more than four, but less than five pounds of pot. Do you think he thought Texas' marijuana laws are going to mimic those of Colorado and Washington State anytime soon?
• A Malignant Laddie from Lakehills was hauled in for committing felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
• Another Lakehellion found himself in the clutches of John Law after failing to identify himself. Dude, if you're a frequent flyer, they already know who you are!
Friday, July 4:
• A Lawbreaker from Lakehills feloniously celebrated the birth of Our Nation by holding less than a gram of a controlled substance - a transgression for which he is still enjoying largess from county taxpayers.
• While a couple more San Antone Stoners were busted for pot possession.
• And a Pipe Creep was caught being pie-eyed in public.
Saturday, July 5:
• A San Antone Slugger has been charged with assault with bodily injury.
• A couple of Brownsville Birdbrains found themselves a long way from home and arrested for assault by contact and weedwacking, as well.
• After being picked up for a first DWI, a Kerr-Vert was slapped with an INS detainer.
• A couple of River City Revelers might have been somewhat chastened after being nicked for speeding and a first DWI.
Sunday, July 6:
• Despite both resisting and evading arrest and being three sheets to the wind while attempting both, a Clot from Conroe spent a nite in the quod.
• A Kerr-Vert remains in the County Big House for having a PG 1 controlled substance and for boosting something worth less than $50.
• Ditto a Bandera Bonehead who was found in possession of some kind of paraphernalia.
• A Lawbreaker from the Lake District is still receiving three hots and a cot courtesy of local taxpayers, charged with four misdemeanors and a felony, including a trio of failure-to-appear warrants, boosting something worth under $50 and possessing the usual paraphernalia.
• A 19-year-old Bandera Bandito was hauled off to the hoosegow - where he remains - for assaulting someone with bodily injury.
• And, last, but not least, another local yokel also remains in jail for filing a false report to a law enforcement officer.
Thus endth a week in Bandera ...