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- Law West and East of Privilege Creek -

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, June 16:
• It seems like a trio of Lakehills Illiterates from a single family might have collectively run afoul of the law. A 26-year-old guy was picked up due to a felony warrant from an outside agency and has yet to see the light of day; a lovely young thang, who purportedly possessed a dangerous drug, bonded out of the Big House the next day; and a 23-year-old master criminal also remains in the quod on myriad charges, including four felonies, stealing a vehicle, evading arrest using the vehicle and a pair of warrants from an outside agency, as well as a single misdemeanor from yet another outside agency. Who are these people, the Jukes or the Kallikaks?
• The crimes of the above makes that of this other Lakehills Laddie - driving without a license - pale by comparison.
Wednesday, June 18:
• So, not only is this Halfwit from Harper being housed for Real County on a felony charge, he's also now accused of 12 misdemeanors, such as bouncing a rubber check; two traffic warrants and another from an outside agency; attempting - but apparently failing - to pay five times for items worth between $20 and $500; failing to ID, twice; and failing to appear, but only once. Guy, wouldn't it be easier to obey the law?
Thursday, June 19:
• A 24-year-old Bandera Boozer got his very first DWI.
• Not only is this F'burg Fool being housed for Gillespie County on six felony and a quartet of misdemeanor charges, but he's also being charged with misdemeanor and felony warrants from an outside agency, but probably not the same one.
• A Waring Weirdo was apparently not "high on life" because he was caught with less than one gram of a Penalty Group 1 controlled substance and with weed, as well.
Friday, June 20:
• A Slimeball from San Antonio boosted something worth between $20 and $500.
• nother Sinner from San Antone remains under lock and key after being charged with possession of more than four but less than 200 grams of a controlled substance.
• After committing a traffic offense, this Pipe Creekette was also charged with failing to appear.
• Seems as though a Sap from SA might have committed criminal mischief.
Saturday, June 21:
• A Boob from Blakeslee - where the Sam Hill is that? - came all the way to the Cowboy Capital to get booked for his first DWI.
• Now, this sounds interesting. Appears that a Pipe Creep was pinched for misdemeanor unlawful restraint. That doesn't sound like a nice thing to do, bubba - unless you're wearing a black leather corset and sky high spike heels. (Not that I'd know anything about THAT!!!)
• A denizen of the Creek District apparently failed to comprehend it's still illegal to possess a Pipe with which to inhale a still-controlled substance.
• Two felony warrants from an outside agency seemed sufficient to send a San Antonio Silly to the slammer where she's still staying.
• A Bad-Tempered Bandera Bad Boy was collared for committing assault with bodily injury.
Sunday, June 22:
• What is it with Pipe Creek anyway? A 21 year old has been arrested for felony assault of a public servant while publically intoxicated. Maybe you should think about giving up the Demon Rum, Dude.
• A Resident of River City celebrated the Sabbath by stealing someone else's vehicle.
A Blackguard from Bandera remains in the Big House after accumulating a trio of misdemeanor warrants that indicated he didn't take seriously the admonishments of previous courts.
Monday, June 23:
• And, last, but not least, a Lakehills Lawbreaker remains confined to the county calaboose for felony possession of less than one gram of a PG 1 controlled substance.
Thus endth the arrest report.