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2014-05-01

- Law East and West of Privilege Creek -

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, April 21:
• An Okie, charged with misdemeanor harboring a runaway and making something available to a minor he ought not to have, plus felony sexual assault, spent five nights in the county can before bonding out.
• A Souse from San Antone got popped for a felony third DWI and her possible companion in crapulence for being dogged by a warrant from an outside agency.
• A Pariah from Pensacola - Florida, we presume - found himself nicked for disorderly conduct.
Tuesday, April 22:
• All right, here's a Bandera Blockhead who might be described as a one-man crime wave 'cause he was booked into the Big House - where he remains - on 12 counts. His felony charges include a quartet of unsuccessful attempts to evade arrest with a vehicle; a lone attempt, also unsuccessful, to simply evade arrest (yeah, yeah, a split infinitive, I know); possessing chemicals used to cook meth; carrying over four grams but less than 200 grams of the stuff; and manufacture and delivery of a PG 1 controlled substance. The master criminal's alleged misdemeanors include yet another unsuccessful attempt to evade arrest, outstanding warrants indicating his probation might be revoked (ya think?), failure to follow the suggestions of a previous court and a traffic offense.
• A Pipe Creep also remains a guest of the Doo Drop Inn for a litany of felony offenses including (here we go again) a half dozen warrants that indicate sometime in the near future his probation might hopefully be revoked plus a lowly misdemeanor warrant pointing out he should have paid just a tad more attention to the suggestions of a previous court. Some folks just never larn!!!!
• A lovely young thang from the Creek District also finds herself in hot water and remains confined to the county calaboose for failing to appear twice in the past, failing to identify herself and for evading arrest - albeit unsuccessfully.
• A Lunkhead from Lakehills did not succeed in his attempts to drive without a license and flee whilst doing it.
Thursday, April 24:
• A Kerr-vert apparently assaulted someone that resulted in bodily injury.
• A Bandera Bad Girl found herself plucked asunder after John Law discovered she had twice failed to follow the ministrations of a previous court.
• A 17-year-old Piece of Pap from Center Point is also enjoying three hots and a cot courtesy of local taxpayers after flaunting the law and stealing between $1,500 and $20,000, resisting and evading arrest and being dogged by three misdemeanor warrants from an outside agency.
• So, what else in new? A Bandera Babe has been charged with felony possession of a PG 1 controlled substance.
Friday, April 25:
• A Twit from Tomball was three sheets to the wind here. Again, what else is new?
• Not only did a Lawbreaker from Lakehills possess a dangerous drug, but MJ, to boot!
• A Rowdy from Rosenberg remains in the X Bar Inn after being rousted on account of a capius pro fine warrant. Look it up all youse Legal Beagles!
• A no doubt well-bred 40something woman also remains in the hoosegow, charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
• Driving without a license seems like such a trivial thing in these here parts, I wonder why this guy from the Lake District was even nicked for it. Sigh!
Saturday, April 26:
• Uh, oh, a minor from River City thought he could get away with consuming a refreshing adult beverage in the Cowboy Capital. He wuz wrong!
• A Blackguard from Bandera remains confined to the county calaboose on myriad charges, including felony possession of a PG 1 controlled substance and taking said substance into a correctional facility, as well as pot possession (x 2), failure to ID and the inevitable warrant from an outside agency.
• Another local yokel was tripped up by not taking care of bizness as put forward by a previous court.
• A no doubt Bodacious Bandera Babe remains under lock and key for possessing a pharmacopeia of drugs, such as weed, a PG 1 controlled drug and other controlled substances.
• A Pie-Eyed Person from Pipe Creek reached the ripe age of 70 before being picked up on his first DWI.
Sunday, April 27:
• Possessing blunt in a drug-free zone along with an outstanding failure-to-appear warrant seemed sufficient to send this Bandera Bandito to the quod, where he remains.
• During the rest of the Sabbath, the following ne'r-do-wells were arrested, two Badly Brought Up Banderans for not following the instructions of a previous court and assault by contact and a trio of Pipe Creek Cretins for a CPF warrant and being crapulent in public and making the fruit of the vine - or something just as illegal - accessible to a minor.
Monday, April 28:
• To round out the week of criminal activity, a Bandera Babe was caught drinking and driving for a first time while carrying a PG 1 controlled substance - you naughty girl, you.