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- Law West and East of Privilege Creek -

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Quote of week: Big weekends in Bandera, bring looooong arrest reports, doncha know?

Monday, March 24:
• A Lunkhead from Lakehills thought it might be fun to indulge in a bit of harassment. However, it wasn't so amusing after he was carted off to the clink for it.
• In a bit of "catch & release," a Bandera Bonehead was busted for felony manufacture and delivery of over 400 grams of a PG 1 controlled substance and for another felony 'cause he had stuff from which one cooks meth. However, he was out of the quod in record time.
Tuesday, March 25:
• A Crapulent Creature from the Creek District was nabbed on a first DWI.
• Oh, no, a lone traffic warrant proved the undoing of a Bandera Babe - but not for long.
Wednesday, March 26:
• A 23-year-old Slug from San Antonio remains confined to the county calaboose because of five misdemeanor transgressions, including burglary of a vehicle; evading arrest, albeit rather unsuccessfully as it turned out; assault by contact; and two failure-to-appear warrants.
Thursday, March 27:
• A Medina Miscreant got popped for a first DWI.
• And a Bandera Boob thought he could get away with DUIing as a minor. Note to Boob: You didn't.
• A Bourgeois Bowel from Bandera (kinda sounds like the beginning of a limerick, don't it?) was charged with a trifecta of lapses, including, but probably not limited to, unlawful possession as a felon and two misdemeanor counts of assault with bodily injury.
• Another day in Bandera, another idjit charged for driving without a license.
Friday, March 28:
• A trio of Bad-Tempered Banderans found themselves in and out of trouble - and the clink - for a couple of assaults with bodily injuries and a felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
• A Bandito from Bandera was not only popped for a first DWI, but he also might find himself with a one-way ticket back to South of the Border if INS has anything to say about it.
Saturday, March 29 - aka A Hot Town in the Old Town Tonight and well into the wee hours of the Sabbath!!!:
• A Lakehills Lunkhead failed his rite of passage after being caught drinking and driving for a first time - or did he?
• A San Antonio Slug purportedly possessed a dangerous drug and a Bird from Bandera, weed.
• Two local yokels, charged with the manufacture and delivery of over four, but less than 200, grams of a PG 1 controlled substance remain under lock & key for their entrepreneurial, but decidedly illegal, spirits.
• So, this guy from the Lake District was so worried about not getting a driver's license that he also failed to appear and now he's been nicked for both.
• A Geek from Galveston came all the way to Bandera to have a first DWI thrust upon him.
• A Banderan, it seems, violated a court order. So, what else is new?
Sunday, March 30:
• A Hick from Helotes and a Crook from Corpus have now been charged with DWIs.
• Two misdemeanor warrants from an outside agency put the skids on the good times of a Scofflaw from San Antone, who might still be a guest of the Doo Drop Inn.
• A Blanco Blackguard - who, at 50, should be old enough to know better - was hauled off to the hoosegow, where he remains, for having one of those PG 1 controlled substances and, worst luck, for taking it into a correctional facility. What?! Did he think he was going to use it a little later to make the pain go away?
• Compared with the above gink, just have a misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency seems like such a piddlin' little thang, don't it?
• A San Antone Sot and a Boozer from Bandera were both judged, but not yet convicted, as being three sheets to the wind in public.
• An Alky from Lakehills was stopped for a first DWI.
• A Cowboy Capital Criminal remains in Bandera's Big House on account of three misdemeanor warrants - two for failing to adhere to the suggestions of previous courts and the third for simply failing to appear.
• Round Rock Rinky Dink also remains under the locked key for being dogged by a felony warrant from an outside agency and for either offering a false ID to a state trooper or pretending to be a law enforcement officer to a real one.
• I ask you, how can someone charged with a simple misdemeanor traffic warrant still be in the gaol? Well, maybe he'll be out by the time you read this.