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- Law West and East of Privilege Creek -

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Quote of the week: "A police officer must know every gun, draw on the run and hit where it doesn't hurt. He must be able to whip two men his size and half his age - without damaging his uniform and without being brutal. If you hit him, he's a coward. If he hits you, he's a bully."

Monday, March 17:
• A Troglodyte from Tarpley and a Bonehead from Bandera found theirselves out of commission - and remain so - as a result of felony so-called "Blue Warrants" that could revoke both paroles.
• A Van Ormy Viper was nicked because he had previously failed to appear.
Tuesday, March 18:
• After assaulting a public official, a Bodacious - but apparently Brainless - Bandera Babe was charged with a felony and is still in the quod.
• A fine, upstanding 19-year-old Resident of River City faces misdemeanor charges stemming for an assault with bodily injury and criminal mischief.
• While his 18-year-old, no doubt, cohort in crime remains under lock & key due to felony possession of more than four grams of a controlled substance, as well as for misdemeanor assault by contact and for the much more mundane, but entirely predictable, failure to appear.
• Despite a felony "Blue Warrant' and a couple of others from outside agencies, a 50somehing Bandera Boob is off and running again.
• However, a 23-year-old Cowboy Capital Criminal remains a guest of the Doo Drop Inn for felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and for violating a court order.
Wednesday, March 19:
• Yet another over-achieving local yokel appears to have been hauled off to the hoosegow - where he remains - on a quintet of felonies, including two burglaries of a habitat, two counts of arson and for secreting a PG 1 controlled substance on his person.
• Yet another Bandera Bad Girl was nabbed due to a misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency.
Thursday, March 20:
(I realize there are residents of Bandera County who do not break the law, but after reading the arrest report week after week, I'm beginning to doubt that statement. Here we go again.)
• On this date, four dolts who call Bandera their homes found themselves popped for 1.) A first DWI and felony possession of a PG 1 controlled substance; 2.) Misdemeanor assault with bodily injury; 3.) Possession of MJ in a weed-free zone, this from a 17 year old, who might have been attending school in that very same zone; and 4.) For being dogged by two felony failure-to-appear warrants for which the 32 year old is still incarcerated.
• Next, a Pipe Creek Cretin found herself in a felony jam for credit card abuse.
• Two Medina Moron siblings were sent to the slammer - where they remain - for possession of a felonious controlled substance.
Friday, March 21:
• A Laddie from Lakehills was apparently without time to secure himself a driver's license and so decided to motor merrily without it and is now facing the consequences.
Saturday, March 22:
• A Nitwit from Narrero must have drawn the short straw because he was destined to be the drunk jailed on a Sattiday nite for public intoxication.
Sunday, March 23:
• A Bandera Boozer celebrated the Sabbath by receiving his first DWI courtesy of a state trooper.
• A Pipe Creep remains in the local X Bar Inn for assault with bodily injury and felony criminal mischief.
Monday, March 24:
• A Lunkhead from the Lake District, certainly old enough to know better but didn't, remains jailed for harassment.
• As does a Walter White wannabe from Bandera who thought he could get away with felony manufacture and delivery of a controlled substance. He remains in Bandera's Big House pondering what went wrong. No "Crystal Blue Persuasion" here, Bubba!