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Law West & East of Privilege Creek

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Monday, Sept. 24:
A Boozer from Bandera was nicked for traveling in public wrapped in three sheets to the wind.

Tuesday, Sept. 25:
An ill-tempered denizen of the Creek District, who had previously failed to appear, apparently assaulted someone by contact.

A Lakehills Lackey had seemingly failed to secure a proper license before motoring merrily along.

Wednesday, Sept. 26:
The luck of a Lakehills Lunkhead - who is no stranger to this column - might have run out after the lad was pinched for a trifecta of felonies, including a warrant that may revoke his probation and two charges of "unauthorized use of a motor vehicle."

Thursday, Sept. 27:
A Nitwit from Natalia remains confined to the county can for felony aggravated robbery.

A felony warrant from an outside agency suggested that a Pipe Creek Crook be detained and so she was - for but a few hours. But, whattaya goin' do about it, right?

A quartet of rubber checks was apparently bounced by a Wall-Eyed Wonder from Weatherford.

Friday, Sept. 28:
A misdemeanor warrant from an outside agency warranted the incarceration of a local yokel if only for but a few hours. Well, it's the thought that counts, isn't it?

A well-brought-up Lorelei from Lakehills might have some "boundary issues." I postulate this because he was collared for misdemeanor assault by contact.

A Kerr-Vert was taken into custody for being pissed in public - not for ... well, you get the picture.

A Dimwit from Duncan - or somewhere, the print was hard to read - found himself in the gaol for DWIing for a first time.

A weedwacker apparently went one toke over the line and was arrested for it.

Here's something special - a local found hisself unable to hold his likker in public on a Sattiday nite in Bandera. 'Magine that?

Are bad temper and the inability to control oneself catching in the Lake District? Yet another wretch from that area apparently assaulted someone by contact.

A Rock Head from Rocksprings remains a guest in the Do Drop Inn due to a trio of felony warrants from an outside agency - or three.

Ditto a San Antonio Slug who was nabbed for being dogged by both misdemeanor and felony warrants from an outside agency.

So, this guy -¬ who was first arrested on Tuesday, Sept. 25, and released the next day - spent yet another night in the quod after being charged with driving without a license, breaking some traffic rule and failing to purchase liability insurance.

Another Pipe Cretin has hit the Master Criminal Trifecta with a felony third DWI, resisting arrest and felony evading arrest with a vehicle. However, he, too, spent but a single night in lockup for these myriad transgressions.

Compared with the above guy, the sins of his neighbor seem almost not worth mentioning. This moron was apparently just tooling along without a license. Give him the "Good Citizen of the Year" award.

Sunday, Sept. 30:
A 22-year-old Whacko from Weatherford got popped for possessing paraphernalia.

To settle his differences, an ill-humored Lout from Lakehills indulged in a bout of fisticuffs rather than using witty repartee for a verbal spar.

A Pissed Person from Pipe Creek found himself facing a second DWI, resisting arresting and - oh, the shame of it! - driving without a license.

Also motoring along the travel ways of the Hill Country sans the necessary license was a Twit from Tyler.

Two contenders from Lakehills were sent to the slammer - where they remain - charged with assault by contact.

Oh, no, while their cohort in crime - no doubt, a damsel fair - was charged with being pie-eyed in public on the Sabbath.