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2012-04-19

Law West & East of Privilege Creek

By Judith Pannebaker BCC Editor

Tuesday, April 3:
A warrant from an outside agency put the skids on the good times of a local yokel.

A Bandera Boozer made it to his 57th year before being picked up on an inaugural DWI. Let's all have a drink and celebrate!

A dipsoManiac from Medina put her freedom in jeopardy after she was charged with a felony third DWI, which, in turn, related directly to an issuance of a so-called Blue Warrant that may revoke her parole. She remains confined to the county can for her misdeeds.

Wednesday, April 4:
Oh, no, a local lush was pinched for public intoxication. Will wonders never cease?!

After apparently violating a court order, a Blockhead from Bandera was arrested, charged and released - in depressingly short order.

A Culprit from Comfort found himself in Bandera's Big House - where he remains - for being dogged by a felony failure-to-appear warrant.

Oh, no, Deputy Marshal Earl, a lovely young well-brought-up Miss Thing from Bandera spent a night in the slammer after being charged with disorderly conduct and, for good measure, resisting arrest.

Another felony fail-to-appear warrant proved to be the bane of a Bore from Boerne. He remains a guest of Bandera's beautiful Do Drop Inn.

Two warrants from an outside agency tripped up a Cretin from Center Point.

A quartet of misguided minors from San Antone apparently thought the laws covering the consumption of refreshing adult beverages were less stringent in the Hill Country than in River City. They thought wrong and now collectively face charges that include four courts of consumption by a minor, well, that should go without saying; DUI; and, for good measure, being one toke over the line.

Thursday, April 5:
So, it appears that these two siblings, ages 21 and 39, from Pipe Creek and Bandera, face a quintet of misdemeanor charges related to merry motoring, such as driving without a license, a couple of traffic warrants and - surprise, surprise - a pair of failure-to-appear warrants.

A pretty little thang from Pipe Creek was pinched for possessing pot.

A Kerr-vert remains a guest of the Cross Bar Inn on account of two felony warrants that may someday serve to revoke his probation.

Friday, April 6:
A Hick from Hondo found himself in the clutches of the Long Arm of the Law, facing a misdemeanor charge of assault with bodily injury.

A Crapulent Cowboy Capital Critter now faces her first DWI charge.

Although charged with felony possession of a controlled substance PG 1 and misdemeanor charges of possession of a lesser controlled substance and MaryJane, this Creek District Doper spent but a scant couple of hours in the slammer.

Uh, oh, after being stopped on an initial DWI, a Bandera Bandito remains in the gaol for possible deportation "South of the Border" or perhaps Croatia.

A Bandera Bouncer was thwarted in her attempt to pass a trio of rubber checks.

Being pie-eyed in public seems to be the thing to do in the Hill Country on a Friday night, and this local yokel didn't disappoint. However, he inexplicably remains in jail for his misdeed.

Look people, if you're gonna drink and drive, at least don't do it when you have a kid in the vehicle with you or you'll find yourself facing a felony with a felony and you deserve it! Which is what happened to this Hellion from Hondo.

Easter Sunday, April 8:
Now, I ask you: What better way to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord than by being publicly intoxicated in Bandera? Apparently a Hondo denizen did just that. How rude!!!

Monday, April 9:
A Bandera Bully spent a night in the can after assaulting someone by both contact and threat.

Tuesday, April 10:
After being caught speeding, an absent-minded denizen of Pipe Creek also found himself charged with having no liability insurance.

A half-wit from Helotes was stopped - for a few hours at least - by two misdemeanor warrants from an outside agency.

... as was a sycophant from San Antone.

A local weed wacker was also stopped in his tracks - but not for long.

A misdemeanor "other' violation resulted in the arrest of a San Antonio simpleton.

Wednesday, April 11:
Apparently, a pair of slugs from San Antonio were picked up in the Bandera for weed wacking.

A Kerr-vert, who thought she could get away with driving without a license, thought wrong.

Thursday, April 12:
A Boozy Bandera Babe made it to the ripe old age of 49 before being picked up for her first DWI.

A Bandita from River City remains locked up in Bandera on a quintet of warrants, including two - one a felony - "other" warrants and three for failing to follow the suggestions of previous courts.

A Pipe Creek Crackpot found herself in a problematic situation because not only had she not heeded the ministrations of an earlier court, which had resulted in the issuance of a warrant, but she was found to be in possession of pot, as well. Oh, well ...

Another Bandera Bad Boy failed to secure a license before barreling down a Hill Country highway with impunity.

Thursday, April 12 & Friday, April 13:
A couple of Cowboy Capital Queens were stopped for being pissed behind their wheels - one for a first DW and the other for a second.

Friday, April 13:
A Reveler from River City was stopped in his tracks - or rather wheels - due to two previous traffic warrants.

Life lesson(s) to a Banderan in need of them: carrying a switchblade is illegal in Texas and pay attention to and actually consider completing whatever a judge had previously suggested.

Two lachrymose lackeys from Laramie were consuming a beverage that, as minors, they ought not to have been - and so, they were nabbed.

Saturday, April 14:
A woozy, boozer from Bandera hit the age of 68 before being pulled over for his first DWI. I think that might be some kind of record.

A quintet of Kriminals from Kerrville seems to have instigated a Krime Wave in Bandera, but all were apparently caught in the acts of bouncing rubber checks, a couple for being pie-eyed in public and the other two for boozing it up behind their respective wheels.

A couple of goyim celebrated the end of Passover by being picked up for consuming too much Manischewitz then attempting to drive. Better they should have just stayed home and watched "The 10 Commandments."

Sunday, April 15:
A felony warrant from an outside agency seemed sufficient to send a Bandera lad to the slammer - where he remains.

A Bad-tempered Bandera Boyo also remains under lock and key, charged with assault.

And - finally - a Pipe Creek Pip additionally remains a guest of the Gray Bar Inn on six misdemeanor charges, including four traffic warrants, one failure-to-appear warrant and, for good measure, possessing a dangerous drug.