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2014-01-02

UT Campus Watch Reports - do you recognize any of these people?

Contributed

The University of Texas police provide some of the most entertaining arrest reports available. Here are some of the best of 2013's Campus Watch Reports.
• When given the opportunity to phone a sober adult [a] subject requested his phone back from the UT Police Officer. The only problem with the subject's request was that he never provided the UT Police Officer a phone and did not possess a phone. When the UT Police Officer told him that he did not have his phone, the subject went "007" and pulled out his BMW car keys and began to use his thumb in a "dialing motion" on the electronic key fob attached to his keysAfter the failed key fob phone call, the UT Police Officer determined the subject was intoxicated to a level in which he was a danger to himself and/or others. The subject was arrested for Public Intoxication and was transported to Central Booking.
• Public Intoxication: UT Police Officers responded to 11 Public Intoxication calls, located in and around DKR Stadium, during the UT versus Ole Miss Football game. With a Longhorn shaved into his chest hairs, a male subject displayed a lack of balance while attempting to negotiate some stadium stairs. Things got a little more hairy when he fell down the stairs and UT Police Officers arrived.
• After trying to pass a parking garage ticket as his legal form of identification, the UT Police Officer arrested [a] subject for Public Intoxication, rather than validating his parking.
• Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: A UT Police Officer observed a Non-UT male subject in a bear costume slumped over his knees at MLK and San Jacinto Street. The subject smelled of alcohol appeared to be "beary" intoxicated. A sober friend was contacted to take responsibility for his furry friend who was found to be under the legal drinking age of 21. The subject was issued a citation for Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor and released.
• Driving While Intoxicated: A silver Jeep Cherokee was seen disregarding a stop sign north bound at 24th Street and San Jacinto. Once stopped, a UT Police Officer noticed a strong odor of alcohol emanating from the inside of the vehicle. The driver stated that she and her boyfriend drank a pitcher of rum and coke at a downtown bar called Shakespeare. To be intoxicated or not to be intoxicated was the question.
• UT Police Officers were advised that an unclothed male subject was walking inside the arena and he appeared lost. Even though it was not his birthday, the subject was easily located and detained in his birthday suit by UT Police Officers. UT Police Officers later located several emptied alcoholic beverage containers in Erwin Center rooms that were accompanied by the subject's missing clothes, wallet, ID, and keys. Unable to bare it any longer UT Police Officers contacted EMS for further evaluation, with charges pending for Public Intoxication.
• A UT Police Officer [woke a sleeping subject]. The subject woke in a less than chipper mood and felt he did not have to speak to the UT Police Officer because we are not "The Real Police". The UT Police Officer performed a "Real" check of his criminal history and found he had a previous "Real" Criminal Trespass Warning from UTPD. The subject was placed in "Real" handcuffs and arrested for Criminal Trespass. He was then placed in a "Real" patrol car and transported Central Booking to a "Real Jail!" The UT Police Officer was just keeping it "Real.