The Bandera Courier
Bandera Courier
Thursday December 14, 2017
The Courier is Celebrating the Christmas Holidays!
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I, Robot

Mikie Baker

I’ve always considered myself technologically challenged, but now I’m not so sure. I can’t say when or how it happened, but somehow technology has trained me to do its bidding. I’ve become the robot.
For Thanksgiving, we were headed out of town to see family who had no room at the inn, so we needed to stay in a hotel. Sitting cuddled up on the couch in my pajamas, I Googled the location, clicked on the website, entered my desires and credit card number and, bam, we were booked. No human involved.
On the morning of Black Friday, my dinging iPad let me know from my dark hotel room that the sales were now on. I sat up in bed, rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and began my Christmas shopping. In an hour, I was done and Santa’s elves let me know that everything was on its way.
As I finished, I pondered the age-old question, “How did spending money get so easy?” I suppose if a credit card chip was implanted in my brain, it would be a bit easier, but then I might also discover when my final expiration date was.
Can you remember when they first put debit machines at the grocery store checkout? I remember exclaiming, “How could anyone ever keep their money straight? I’m going to keep writing checks like I’ve always done!” Today I get really impatient if someone in the grocery line takes the time to write a check. How old school.
What about the first time you took a photo of a check? Talk about nervous. I was sure my deposit would get lost in the cloud and somebody else would use my money to pay for their new water feature. Today, I haven’t seen the inside of a bank in a good, long while. It’s too bad because I could really use a new toaster.
When Black Friday and Cyber Monday technology took ahold, I wasn’t one of the first in line. Because I couldn’t quite figure out how to do it, I convinced myself I’d lose the “Spirit of Christmas” if I didn’t fight my way through the mall for the latest Tickle Me Elmo. Not anymore. I order. You ship. I am woman hear me roar.
Now all my purchases and every single item I ever Googled, follow me around on the internet like an angry mob screaming, “Buy me! Buy me! I’m 10% off but only for the next 7 hours and 12 minutes when you put in the code I, Robot.”
I suppose the good news is, 90 percent of my shopping is now done, so I can spend time wrapping, baking and enjoying the holiday season. I know when January rolls around I can worry about the bills. Maybe someone will give me a robotic money tree that grows just enough to pay off my credit cards in a timely manner. That’s a technology I could really use.
Remember, they’ll never make a robot that can find the Spirit of Christmas for you – that’s one thing you can only do for yourself.