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2015-01-08

Funny science

Carolyn B. Edwards

Pictured: Environmental class students of Jackson Middle School spent a Saturday with their teacher, Justin Edwards, with sunglasses, cleaning up Grand Prairie and Fish Creek.

Things have been more than a little stressful around the office lately, so I had to find a few laughs. Lucky you, reader! You get some science jokes!
As seen on IFLScience.com, 10 science jokes by Radu Alexander:
1. I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
3. Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers.
4. Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
"What do we want?"
"Time travel"
"When do we want it?"
"Irrelevant."
7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies "For you, no charge."
9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
"Oh, no, I think I lost an electron."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive."
10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.
And from another source:
A student in Dr. Einstein's class says, "The questions on this test are the same as last year's."
"Yes," said Einstein, "but the answers are all different."
ScienceKids.com had these for kids, but I like them, too:
Old chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react.
What did the biologist wear on his first date? Designer genes.
Why do tigers have stripes? So they don't get spotted.
What did the receiver say to the radio wave? Ouch! That megahertz.
What do astronauts do when they get angry? Blast off!
What did the volcano say to his wife? I lava you so much!
What do you call two dinosaurs that have been in an accident? Tyrannosaurus wrecks
Teamwork is essential; it means you can always blame someone else.
Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Can't be done. Sorry, it's a hardware problem.