Olympic flame could sputter here

Carolyn B. Edwards

In all the hoopla leading up to the opening of the Summer Olympics in London, I saw that Greek triple jumper Voula Papachristu was removed from her country's team after making a racist "joke" via Twitter.

Papachristu would have done well to remember that anything posted on any kind of "social media" is public information. And if you are in any way noteworthy, you can be sure the public will hear about anything you post. Do we really need to know an athlete's political opinions? Just jump, jump, jump already!

Lots of people trashed Ralph Lauren, designer of the American team's official uniforms, because he had them manufactured in China. I may be the only media person to comment on how ugly the outfits look, especially the opening ceremony duds. The team looked like a squad of soldiers from a cheap dictatorship.

The women's outfit appears to be old Ralph's fantasy of the little virgin schoolgirl, complete with penny loafers and ankle socks. The misogynistic outfit makes these women who can out run, out swim, out weight lift about 99 percent of the world look like they need an adult to help them cross the street.

Because of cool London temperatures, fans of nearly naked women's beach volleyball may be disappointed when the gals don T-shirts to keep warm.

Penny loafers and ankle socks should complete the look!

If you are a fan of fencing, enjoy the return to the Olympics of the Hurley sisters, formerly of Medina.

The pair are well on their way to proving themselves the best female fencers in the world. Do you remember seeing these women demonstrating their abilities at the Apple Fest when they were so very young?

Some Olympic events are not very interesting. Rowing, for instance. However, my hat's off to the only Olympic athletes who compete with their backs to the finish line!

Three events that occur regularly here in Bantucky should be considered for future inclusion in the Olympics:

1. Running of the stop signs. Locals practice this event with fanatic zeal all over town, but most especially at the corner of 13th and Mulberry. The winning strategy apparently involves pulling up close behind another vehicle already stopped there, and then following that vehicle without stopping again. Fastest time from 173 to 16 wins.

2. Pedestrian Crossing of Main. This event requires nerves of steel to face down long lines of vehicles moving north and south along Main Street. Mis-judging the spaces between vehicles can leave a pedestrian stranded in the middle of the roadway with traffic whizzing past in both directions. A mis-step at this stage could result in crashing vehicles, or worse, pedestrian pancake. Both drivers and pedestrians vie for the gold in this event.

3. Mystery event. I have close family members who are acknowledged to be among the best in the world at the sport. Losers must light a candle against the "forces of evil" these competitors unleash upon the unsuspecting. No gas masks allowed.

The gold goes to the last competitor standing.